As the relationship coach, my goal is to give you a glimpse into the minds of men and tell you how it is. It also, however, encompasses quite a bit of crime fighting. One area where this couldn’t be truer is in the sport of arguing. I contend that the more women realize about how men operate, the less crime will persist in the world. Men and women argue for different reasons, usually in hopes of meeting the same end: make up sex.
However, the trip there is often a painful and lengthy one. Men and women come from two completely different vantage points while arguing and I think its time women really came to understand just how we tick. Pay attention kids, school is in session.
1) Our entire goal in the argument is to end it as soon as possible
Women tend to want to belabor a point and drag out a segment of the conversation much longer than we deem necessary. This causes you all to think that we’re becoming disinterested. Not true. It’s just that you’ve been repeating yourself for the past hour and I don’t even like taking the same route twice. We were interested the first time, now we’re just annoyed.
2) We do not want you to “comfort” us if our feelings get hurt
For the life of me, I cannot understand why any woman would think that I’d want a hug from her RIGHT after she’s managed to piss me off. I don’t want to hug you, I want you to go away and stay away for at least the length of the time we spent arguing. But women want us to hug them if they start crying. Once again, makes no sense. I don’t want to touch you, I want to hurl you off a balcony. But of course if all makes sense if you realize…
3) Men don’t argue emotionally, we argue rationally
We’ve determined we’re trying to end it (1) so our sole goal is to figure out what your point is so that we can move on, whether by addressing the issue or deciding not to address it. Either way, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line so get to the point. All of this “feeling” crap isn’t going to help us solve the problem since half the time, we don’t get your beef anyway. Tell me what I did wrong and why, and let’s just keep it moving. But don’t be upset if I tell you that you’re not making any sense and you’re full of poo.
4) If we concede a point, that does not give you carte blanche to hammer it home over and over again because we think you’re right
Move on. We’ve admitted you’re right. Which means we acknowledge and will probably correct the situation. Do not think its okay to continuously speak the issue in 12 different languages because we’re only going to tell you that you’re right once. After that, we don’t want to hear about it because you’re impeding the make up sex goal. Plus, you’re in direct violation of number 1.
Ladies, if you’re aware of these simple things, all arguments with your man could go a lot smoother and he might even do what you ask. Three hour arguments about washing the dishes? Not so much.
Just keep it in mind.